24 Jul The Power of “No” And Why You Should Say It More

People like to get offended nowadays. It’s just a weak reaction so they don’t have to process something they don’t want to for the most part. Those people will never be successful so this is to everyone else (see, those people definitely got offended by that and stopped reading so now, if you’re still reading, I know I have the right audience).

I’ve been noticing that in our personal lives, people like to leave things open-ended. They’d rather bail at the last second when they were never coming anyway and drag out the process for everyone. In essence, they have to say no twice and think about it for whatever time period it takes to actually decline. I imagine this can’t help the anxious generations out there.

This isn’t a crazy revelation, but I’ve started to see this happen in the business world too. People are starting to become hesitant to give a straight answer. This doesn’t do anyone any favors! I literally had someone tell me yes they were going to buy our services and after two months of stalling, told me they couldn’t but they liked me and didn’t want to tell me no.

Geesh, thanks for the favor and considering all the time I wasted trying to get in touch with you about closing.

So why am I bringing this up on a blog that’s supposed to be about money. Here’s three reasons why:

Loss of focus

When you tell someone that you “might” do it even though you know you aren’t going to, this immediately becomes a distraction. Why? Because most people will still respond and say they aren’t coming to said event. I’ll be writing about this another time, but a psychologist who dubbed herself “the Millennial psychologist” since 90% of her clients are Millennials (she didn’t aim to be that) said the NUMBER ONE COMPLAINT amongst Millennials is too many options.

Well, that’s half our fault half adjusting to a world that provides you too many options for anything. Case and point, deciding what to do for dinner…

Do I go out to eat with my friends? Do I stay home to save money? Do I order in so I don’t have to cook? What app should I use to order in? What do I want to eat? Where should I order from? Maybe I should go out with everyone?

This is just to decide what to eat one night for dinner. Can you relate? We can’t easily control the options and convenience the world tries to push on us for a tiny price, but we can do something about our decisions. If you don’t want to go, just say NO. It’s that easy. I don’t mean “probably not” or “could be hard to make it”, I mean “no”. Flat and simple.

It shuts the door for your brain having to consider it anymore and anyone who is a true friend won’t be hurt by it. This will help you get your focus back and increase productivity.

It will boost your confidence

Telling someone “no” (including yourself) indicates power. It means that you have authority over that decision. If you want to feel more in control of your life, starting acting like it. This can be hard to turn down family and good freinds, but at the end of the day, you have to make the best decisions for you.

If you are on a tight budget, this can be a freeing statement. Feel confident telling people “no”. You don’t have to explain why. If you feel compelled to, then be honest. Tell them you are taking control of your life and following your plan to get out of debt and become financially independent. I promise you, they’ll be impressed whether they admit it or not.

Someone who is VERY important to tell “no” is YOU. Are you in control of your life and your decisions? Can you say no to something that’s not good for you or doesn’t fit your plan?

If you are trying to lose 20lbs, are you able to say “no” to your favorite ice cream? Can you say “no” to a bachelor party weekend that’s going to cost $3,000 when you have a $40,000 salary and $30,000 in debt? Can you say “no” when that ad pops up on Amazon to buy that nicer mixer for your shakes even though you have one that works okay? I mean, you don’t really need it, right?

Are you in control of your impulses or do they control you?

Saying “no” will give you that power. Saying “no” puts you in control. Saying “no” will boost your confidence.

You will keep more money and perform better at work

What? You think this statement is a reach? Think about the first two things I just talked about. What would you do if you were even 20% more focused and confident than you were right now? You’d do more stuff and be more productive! Well that turns into positive outcomes which tends to snowball into better focus and more confidence!

If you get comfortable saying “no”, you will be more likely to assert your personal authority at work. No matter what your job is, there is always “more work”. You can’t help that. And most people don’t say “no”, they say “sure” when on the inside they are screaming and freaking out because they can hardly do everything they have on their plate now.

Granted, there is a balance to this. You can’t just say “no” when your employer asks you to do something. But you can tell them why you can’t take it on at that time due to being overworked. And if they insist because its important, you can ask what they’d like you to drop in order to take on this new task.

And whammo! You won! You didn’t take on more work, your just took on different work. People who are given greater responsibility and promotions are ones who assert authority, not the ones who are pushovers. Ever seen Office Space? It’s not until he starts saying no, that he gets promoted (though in a very different, funny way than I’d recommend).

Even if you don’t get promoted, if you work in an area that has incentives for your job, you will very likely do your job more efficiently and be able to get to more things.

The average person wastes THREE HOURS at work during their eight hour day. Imagine if you stayed focus for one hour more than everyone else per day? You would work 260 hours more while you were at work! If that doesn’t start to show results and impress someone, you need to work somewhere else!

And a lot of this gets tied back to the power of no. I challenge you to practice saying out loud right now. Pay attention the next time you want something that you shouldn’t have and tell yourself no audibly. Continue this and let me know if it doesn’t work. Actually, no. Don’t. I’m busy.