24 Jan I Stopped Saying I’m “BUSY” And What Happened When I Did

You’ve heard it before. Seen the resolutions. Maybe skimmed the title of an article telling you its a bad habit. So many of us do without even knowing it.

“Hey, Stephen! How are things?”

It was a standard question. A greeting. One simple, polite gesture that went mildly beyond the standard hello. There’s a pretty good chance this person doesn’t even actually care ‘how things are’. Not because they are a jerk, but because…they’re busy.

“Well lets see. I’ve got twin girls coming in less than 2 months. Starting off a new calendar year at zero for the business. I need to file my taxes soon. I have a mole infestation in my backyard that’s destroying my lawn…oh yeah, and did I mention that my dog turned four yesterday and I have mild guilt I didn’t get her a new squeaky toy or something?”

Can you imagine the reaction I would get? How are you reacting to that now? I mean, it’s all true! But no, we all settle for the same basic answer so we don’t inconvenience anyone and can get on with the day.

“Oh you know, things are busy!”

I won’t even say that’s a vanilla response because vanilla deserves better. It’s just a throw away comment that means absolutely nothing, establishes no deepening of any relationship, and doesn’t allow any part of your personality to show. But here’s the worst part.

You are actually hurting yourself.

I hope we can all agree that words have power because they do. So when we declare that we are “busy” at any given moment as a standard response, we are drilling into our own psyche that have no time. What a depressing thought! And what’s crazy is that most of us live that way.

Work. Side hustles. Studying for a degree online. Family stuff. Dating. Deciding what to eat for dinner.

Let me ask you this question that Gen Z and Millennials are having a harder time answering when I ask them.

Do you have a hobby? One that you are actively engaged in and pursuing regularly?

So many people have to think about that before giving me an answer. Why? Because we’re “busy”. It’s erroding our mindset to “choice”. Instead of waking up and having a day planned for you, make a “choice” of what is going to happen that day. Make a “choice” for no screen time. Make a “choice” to build a puzzle, shoot some photography or read a book.

And even more important, make a “choice” to say NO to some of the things that are making you so busy in the first place. Here’s a newsflash for you…it’s not all important!

I used to be a little jealous of chameleons. They are one of the few animals that have eyes that can look in different directions. I used to think how much more I could get done if I could do that. One eye on my work and the other multi-tasking on something else. My productivity would shoot through the roof and I would have some much more time to myself!

But then I realized something. Given my non-chalant mindset to “busy”, I’d just let myself take on more things that probably didn’t matter, let my calendar fill itself up and just take my stress to new levels.

So I made a choice to make “busy” the enemy and took control.

How do you take control? Simple to figure out. Hard to do. You’ll find there’s a weening period because we get addicted to our busy.

1. List out the top 25 things in your life that matter to you.
2. Reduce that list to the top 5 things that matter to you.
3. Go to things 6-25 on your list and start saying NO to them. Quit the activities. Cancel the membership. Remove yourself from the Board. Do what you have to do to sever ties with anything not in that top 5.
4. Now start reinvesting all that time and energy into your top 5. Not only will you do more, you’ll find you have more time and you’ll be happier because you will be doing the things that matter most to you.

I’ve been on this journey for about 6 months now. A few weeks ago, I upped my efforts to a more extreme level. There are still a few things I have to quit because not everything can be dropped immediately, but I gave myself a hard timeline of May this year to completely remove myself from anything not in my top 5.

Already, I can feel the space I’ve allowed myself mentally and physically. I’m not as stressed. Monday’s feel like Friday’s. It’s fantastic and its only motivated me to pursue it with more vigor than before.

I’ve done more in the past 3 months towards my top 5 than I had in the past 2 years. I feel more fulfilled. I have a better sense of purpose.

Saying NO took some getting used to, but then you realize the power in that word. It is the 7-foot knight in shining armor with a big ass sword that protects the most valuable asset in this world…time.

So stop saying “busy”. Start realizing you have a choice. And take back your time, because it waits for no one.